Map of the government shutdown

So if a government shuts down, what does that mean? A real "shutdown" would mean a new map of North America, wouldn't it? So the thing everyone's talking about is a far cry from a real shutdown. It's not even a "partial shutdown." Not really. Are they closing the Interstates? Opening the border crossings? Turning off password protection at the CIA? (By the way, I hear their secret password is "password."). Since the whole thing seems rather silly to me, I thought it deserved a silly map.